Friday, June 18, 2010

Continued Truths & Getting Deep

I do love sharing random facts about myself, but here are some to get to know me better, more personal ones that a random fact like "i love john mayer's voice and his songs" (which i do). so this list is continued from keiko lynn's blog, here is the link to the post that inspired me to keep going with this list .

-- i think i am way too mature for my age.

--i have a twin but i know nothing about them. i was adopted when i was a baby, and all that we know about my twin is that i have one. i dont know if im fraternal or identical, we dont even know if its a boy or girl. i dont really have any "twin" moments, but i wish so badley that i knew my twin, so i could have someone to share my thoughts a feelings with, a super best friend i guess. someone who is my blood who will get where im coming from, and someone who will always be there for me in the end. but we dont even know if my twin lived. but i think i am just fine on my own. i didnt think about it as much when i was younger, but now that our trip back to china is apporaching, and im growing older and more independent, i'll have the occasional thought and wonder.
--i adore little kids and many people have told me i should be a teacher and work with little kids but i dont want to. i feel popous saying this, but i have big dreams for myself and frankly i would like to make more than a teacher makes. wow that sounds so...i dont know, stuck up? but i really do, and i have so much i want to do in life

--click on the link to keiko's blog and scroll down untill you find my comment for another truth.

--you know that one love you will never get over? here's mine. i was in middle school  and extremely shy (read my comment above for the whole story). we locked eyes in 6th grade in the cafeteria and probably held eye contact for only like 5 seconds, but it felt like forever to me. i was the one to break away because i knew he had a girlfriend (gotta love 6th grade relationships!), and thought this would be something like cheating. then i went away for the summer and when school started again the fall, we had three classes together. that fall, we spent it flirting and swooning over each other. i was still shy and didnt quite know what to do with all this affection but he was SO cute and so i liked him back immensly. and i think i didnt realize how much he liked me. but i was too shy, too uncomfortable with myself, too scared to fall for this boy, so when we should have been moving furthur in our relationship, i didnt take the steps. i think he was too shy about it too or somthing, because gradually, we drifed apart. we didnt have any classes with each other in 8th grade and dont in high school. but whenever i see him, i still get butterflys in my stomach, he still makes me swoon. he's the one love i dont think i will ever get over. (unless of course later in life we reconnect, a girl can dream). and as cheesy as this sounds, and im sorry if im making you cringe, but back in 7th grade, he claimed a piece of my heart and took it away with him.

--i dont want to grow up and yet i do, i dont want to loose this innocence, but i want to gain all those expreiences, i dont want to relinquish being carefree without a ton of responsibility, and yet i want to run my own life and live freely as i wish. im scared to grow up and yet its so exciting. but i have to say, i love being a kid even if i am a teenager and john mayer's song "stop this train" says, " so scared of getting older, im only good at being young". this song gets growing up so well

--lastly i hope to god NO ONE i know sees my blog because i like being able to post anonymously(well, somewhat, the things i post are true to me but of course you dont actaully know my identity etc.).

Finally, to anyone who has a secret they're aching to share, or feel so alone because of something, check out Post Secret. Frank Warren started this project a few years back where people could send him their secrets anonymously on postcards and mail them to him. Here is his website, but you should definatly check out the books he's made featuring thousands of the secrets he recives. you dont feel so alone or different after reading them. i promise. look for them at your bookstore.

below, a few samples of what you might find

my heart broke after reading this (above)

so read these and think, do any of them apply to you, what is YOUR secret you would write and send on a postcard? i've already sent in a few of mine ( :

{images via googleimages and postsecret's website}


:. Maddieson .: said...

Woah, these really inspired me for many many things ! I don't know what it is but I love them because people are trying to relieve themselve of something,, does that make sense ?? Thank you I needed to see these !! <3

Sapphire Black said...

I love each one of your tidbits and stories. and i love your secrets. But i couldn't find your other one that i have to look for. can you fetch me a link if it wouldn't bother you?